I'm referring to when our son was diagnosed with
autism. She was kind of happy, we both were. We finally had an idea about what
was going on, and we were connected to services we could get for him, so his
quality of life would improve.
My wife has taken the brunt of the whirlwind that
happened after diagnosis. Enrolling the big guy in ABA, speech, and
occupational therapy, setting the big guy up to go to school, and then running
him around between everything he had to do during the day. She would wake up at
7 am, get him ready for school, whether he was grumpy or not, and get him there
by 7:30, then take care of the little guy until it was time to get the big guy
from school.
Then it was off to ABA therapy or speech and
occupational therapy, or maybe it was a meeting with the lady from the office
that helped coordinate things, or a WIC appointment. Then back home and time to
rest, if he wasn't sick. One of the things that sucked about him going to
school was the first year he was sick almost all the time. There were days she
would drive 100 miles during one day, just to get him to his appointments, and
still make time for the little guy.
Once the daily appointments were over and she was
finally home, it was time to try to get fed and ready for bed, which was an ordeal,
itself. Most nights she had to sit in the room with him, and keep having him
lay down until he finally fell asleep. Then she might have some time to herself
to watch a movie or play on the computer, but that wouldn't last long because
she almost always fell asleep watching a movie, without taking her contacts
out.
Honestly, she’s the strongest person I have met, and
I don't mean just physically. I praise everything she does, and I don't see her
braking down any time soon.
I know she worries about him, but I also know he
gets on her nerves at times, but what kid doesn't. It has gotten easier, and
she has had help from others over the years, but she is still the one doing
more than anyone else. I wonder how she feels about things most times, if she
feels overwhelmed, or stressed, most of the time when I ask her she won’t tell
me, or she just says she’s "fine" and that things don't bother her,
but I know she wants time alone, and I have given it to her on many occasions.
Sometimes on the weekend she's sent home from work
early, because they don't have enough business, and it's not just her, many
times everyone is sent home or put on an off the clock two hour break, but she
doesn't come home for two reasons. One reason is she wants time alone, and I
don't blame her because sometimes you just need to breathe. The other reason is
if the big guy sees her, she wouldn't have the ability to leave again and go
back to work, he would have a meltdown.
She’s a great woman, I wish you could see her smile,
and hear her laugh. I love the fact the she can smile, can have a good time,
and still laughs at things. She’s not devastated by the diagnosis, or hurt by it;
she loves him with all her heart, and will do everything in her power to help
him. I don't think any of us think of this as a bad thing, I think this has
given us clarity and focus, her most of all.
It will get easier, especially when he starts
talking and telling us his ideas, concerns and needs. It will also get easier
as he gets older and no longer needs as much therapy, though I know he will
miss the speech lady when she stops coming. I bet mom will even find that she
has become bored when he’s more independent, by she will find something to fill
the time, trust me.
I cannot see anyone doing better for him that she
has, ever. She is the best, and I love her so much for that.
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