Saturday, February 18, 2012

She Didn't Cry



I'm referring to when our son was diagnosed with autism. She was kind of happy, we both were. We finally had an idea about what was going on, and we were connected to services we could get for him, so his quality of life would improve.

My wife has taken the brunt of the whirlwind that happened after diagnosis. Enrolling the big guy in ABA, speech, and occupational therapy, setting the big guy up to go to school, and then running him around between everything he had to do during the day. She would wake up at 7 am, get him ready for school, whether he was grumpy or not, and get him there by 7:30, then take care of the little guy until it was time to get the big guy from school.

Then it was off to ABA therapy or speech and occupational therapy, or maybe it was a meeting with the lady from the office that helped coordinate things, or a WIC appointment. Then back home and time to rest, if he wasn't sick. One of the things that sucked about him going to school was the first year he was sick almost all the time. There were days she would drive 100 miles during one day, just to get him to his appointments, and still make time for the little guy.

Once the daily appointments were over and she was finally home, it was time to try to get fed and ready for bed, which was an ordeal, itself. Most nights she had to sit in the room with him, and keep having him lay down until he finally fell asleep. Then she might have some time to herself to watch a movie or play on the computer, but that wouldn't last long because she almost always fell asleep watching a movie, without taking her contacts out.

Honestly, she’s the strongest person I have met, and I don't mean just physically. I praise everything she does, and I don't see her braking down any time soon.

I know she worries about him, but I also know he gets on her nerves at times, but what kid doesn't. It has gotten easier, and she has had help from others over the years, but she is still the one doing more than anyone else. I wonder how she feels about things most times, if she feels overwhelmed, or stressed, most of the time when I ask her she won’t tell me, or she just says she’s "fine" and that things don't bother her, but I know she wants time alone, and I have given it to her on many occasions.

Sometimes on the weekend she's sent home from work early, because they don't have enough business, and it's not just her, many times everyone is sent home or put on an off the clock two hour break, but she doesn't come home for two reasons. One reason is she wants time alone, and I don't blame her because sometimes you just need to breathe. The other reason is if the big guy sees her, she wouldn't have the ability to leave again and go back to work, he would have a meltdown.

She’s a great woman, I wish you could see her smile, and hear her laugh. I love the fact the she can smile, can have a good time, and still laughs at things. She’s not devastated by the diagnosis, or hurt by it; she loves him with all her heart, and will do everything in her power to help him. I don't think any of us think of this as a bad thing, I think this has given us clarity and focus, her most of all.

It will get easier, especially when he starts talking and telling us his ideas, concerns and needs. It will also get easier as he gets older and no longer needs as much therapy, though I know he will miss the speech lady when she stops coming. I bet mom will even find that she has become bored when he’s more independent, by she will find something to fill the time, trust me.

I cannot see anyone doing better for him that she has, ever. She is the best, and I love her so much for that.




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