Resolution

The title of this post has nothing to do with making a new year’s resolution, so don't think I'm about to talk about losing weight, eat better, or paint or something. I really want to explain to you about how the big guy needs resolution in things for everything to be OK.

I mostly want to talk about TV shows and movies because this is where I see, more often than not, how "into" something he can get. I think as he gets older the same thing will happen to him with video games or things at school, but for now I can really only comment on TV and movies.

I have sat and watched a number of different cartoons and movies with him, and I am so amazed how involved he becomes with the story. He gets so involved you can see it in his eyes, body language, and the way he acts towards everyone else in the family. As an example, a few weeks ago we first watched the movie Zathura, which is a really awesome movie and if you haven't seen it do so. The story is about three kids visiting their dad on his designated weekend, and how dysfunctional the family is, but not all scary psycho like, just how self-absorbed they all are mostly due to the situation.

So the two main characters, two small kids aged five and somewhere around eight or ten, find a board game in the basement that turns out to be much more than just a game.

At one point the house is out in space and about to be boarded by Zorgons (ether watch the movie or read the plot on Wikipedia and you'll get it) a huge lizard like race. The first time I watched this with him (and the little guy) he was very stressed out, he had his hands to his ears, hiding behind the recliner, and now and then he would jump up and down or stomp.

Now the big guy would not be able to leave the movie at that point. It's not very scary, but just enough scary, but he cannot leave or stop watching the movie, he must have a resolution.

There is also a robot scene in the movie where he does much the same thing, and once again, he needs the resolution. Later in the movie he does get resolution, on both issues, but I cannot stop the movie, or it will be a very bad thing.

He will get mad and have a fit, attack, tell me "no", or even have a meltdown, so we must make a decision before he watches something whether or not it is something suitable for him because he mimics what he sees in a movie. So he cannot watch something like Reel Steel because it is about boxing, and he will hit. He will hit the little guy, mom, the dog or I, because he thinks it is OK to do things like that. I'll make a whole post about mimicking later, but for now just know he must have resolution in something he watches.

So we must be careful when he watches things, because he must have resolution. We can't put a two hour movie on 20 minutes before he goes to bed, or he will have a huge problem if we turn it off. He won’t have a problem with the fact that it is bedtime, but because he has to see what happens next, he must know that the Smurfs will get home.

 So all I have to say is... thank GOD for commercials. Commercials allow us to turn the TV off so we can get him ready for bed, and because it is a commercial, it's no big deal, the resolution happens very quickly, and many times he doesn't pay attention to commercials. I don't know if other children with autism are like this, but with the little guy, we can turn anything off at any time and it isn't as big a deal. The little guy may get mad and cry, but he won’t have as much of a problem with it as the big guy.