My gift.

Earlier today I went out to lunch with my wife and it was really nice. The boys had stayed over at their grandmothers house the night before, so my wife and I had a good long time "alone". We weren't totally alone, other people were around us and all, but we didn't have to watch the boys. It was great getting away, not having to listen to them fighting over stuff, Ethan talking about weird stuff, or Logan having a meltdown. Though it was nice, I did miss the little turds.

Like I had said earlier, my wife and I decided to stop at this little burger stand in town, they have awesome burgers, just really great stuff. While we were eating the churches around town got out of their services, and quite a few people came into the burger joint. One family, a dad mom and two little girls, got my attention, but not for what you may think.

They were all "normal", or I should say, they all didn't show any outward signs of any disabilities. Why should they? Not everyone has a family member with a disability, or do they? The mom and dad were about 30+ years old, and the two little girls, I assume, we're about 7 and 9 or so. Both little girls were very articulate, well spoken, and what seemed to me very well behaved. The dad didn't look mean, and paid attention to the girls when they said something, then there was the mom.

The mom seemed as if the little girls were completely uncontrollable. The place was pretty vacant when we sat down to eat, and when they came in, they really had the pick of the place. They went to go sit down, and the mom was okay at first. Then one of the girls said she didn't like sitting there, I couldn't hear her season as to why, but it seemed she just really wanted to sit in a different spot.

That's not a big deal, we have had to make sure we sit in certain spots before. Just like I'm sure you sometimes don't want to sit at a table, and would rather have a booth, that's what it seemed like to me. The mom, on the other hand seem to have a huge problem moving. I don't know if the table was dirty, or the one the girl wanted to sit at was dirty, or what, but you could see the frustration in the mothers face. It was like someone had broke her vacuum and then dumped a pointed plant on her carpet. She was totally stressed out at her kids insistence that they move tables.

I know kids can get on your nerves, mine do, and other people's kids do, but this seemed excessive. I know the little girl had no mental issues, she spoke clearly, didn't stutter or make noises, I mean, you just had to be there and you'd say to yourself "that's just a normal little girl". It seemed like the mom was the one with issues, and it got me thinking.

This lady wouldn't handle five minutes with my son, not five single minutes. He would drive her nuts, she would not be able to even deal with him. Just flat out, she couldn't handle him. I have a gift, that gift isn't patients, compassion, understanding, or any of that, my gifts name is Logan.

He's my gift because he forces me to learn all those things. He forces me to be compassionate towards others because not everyone has the same capabilities. He forces me to learn patients because he sometimes wants to do things when I don't want him to. He forces me to stand my ground and be stern because he's unaware that some of the things he wants to do my hurt him very badly, and this also helps with little things like bedtime.

Logan forces me to do my best at understanding anyone, no matter who they are, because he tries to tell me things and some of the time they don't make sense at first. Logan forces me to be stern, if I don't say what I mean he will walk all over me, and mom. Logan teaches me to be quick at my reflexes, or he may tag me in the face with a toy, not on purpose, but you know how it is.

The one thing Logan teaches me the best is to love no matter what. I love him no matter what, even when he's being a total crap head. He has to have things a certain way, and I understand that and I love him for it. He can be a total monster sometimes, and it sucks, but it doesn't mean I love him any less, I just need to learn to deal with it, and teach him how to understand things.

I feel sorry for that mom because it doesn't seem like she gets to learn any of these things. She has a "normal" child, and has a problem when this child wants to sit in a different spot in a restaurant, what will happen when she brings home the man she's going to marry, and the mom has a problem with that? It's just seems to me that the mom will never be happy, and she's missing out on so many things.

My son will run away!!!

My son is labeled a flight risk at school. They keep a close eye on him during class and on the playground, but we also have to keep a close eye on him at home or he may just leave, and not come back.

I remember the first time I took him to the park. We got there and he went in to the playground area and just kind of walked around, he wasn't too sure about any of the stuff he was looking at. Then he wanted to walk down the hill, away from all the playground stuff. Nothing was over there really, just a few trees and a walking path, but nothing to play on. He just wanted to walk, and he did.

It really was kind of comical. A two and a half year old tootling down a hill just walking away, all by himself like he knew exactly where he was going. The problem was he didn't want to come back. He also didn't want to stop. I'm sure if I'd have let him he would have walked to Antarctica, but mom was cooking dinner, so we had to cut his stroll a bit short.

We have always had to deal with stuff like that. Once he was able to walk and get around we had to toddler proof the house like normal parents, but we had to go one step further and make sure he couldn't get out of the house. We still have to make sure he doesn't get out of the house.

At first we just used the door locks and dead bolts because his lack of fine motor control wouldn't let him undo a lock or even turn the handle, but he's gotten better at opening doors over the years, so we have to do a bit more now.

People who come over for the first time must find it almost comical (or scary) to hear the sound of all these locks opening when we open the door and I bet it freaks them out when we lock the door right behind them. Because we have barrel locks on all the doors and we always have to make sure they are set, or he will just leave. He's a crafty little bugger, he will move a chair over to the door, climb up the chair, and undo the barrel locks. To make sure he can't do that all the barrel locks are at the top of the doors.  Eventually he will grow up, and we will have to figure something else out.

We've put these locks on the front and back door, the stock room door, and the laundry room door. Not only do we have to make sure he doesn't leave, we have to make sure he won't get into anything he shouldn't, and most of the chemicals are in the laundry room and stock room.

Sometimes it is exhausting trying to keep him in the house. Especially if it’s raining or snowing outside, because that's when it's most fun right? So he will try to open the door and go where he wants. It's so hard to explain to him that it's time for dinner and he can't go out and play in the rain, and he gets so mad about that, but he can't get that door open, so he throws a fit.

We don't have to worry about this stuff with his little brother, but we have to keep an eye one him all the time. We still put him inside the cart in the store, and if we go to a restaurant we have to make sure we hold his hand, sit in a booth, and sit him next to the wall. Mom and I will have to mesh our legs together under the table to make sure he won't crawl out. If we are at a store that doesn't have carts (which we avoid) one of us will always have hold of his hand, and sometimes he will do everything he can just to let go and run.

I know kids will be kids, and they just want to get up and go, see everything, do everything, and play with everything, but it's different with an autistic child, we have to be hyper vigilant.

As I'm reading over this post it sounds as if we are horrible parents and our oldest son wants to just run away from us because we are so "mean" to him, but that's really not the case at all. Yes we have to lock him in the house, yes we make sure he cannot just run away when we go out, but aside from our extremes, isn't that what "normal" parents do with their kids anyway? 

Loose tooth.

It's been a while since my last post, and that's OK  sometimes I don't have much to say, but a lot has happened since my last post. So here we go...

A few months ago the big guy had his picture taken at school. It's was one of his best school pictures so far. Nice blue background, he had a cool button down shirt, his hair was just right, but the best part... It was his last picture with all his baby teeth. The picture was taken on a Friday, and when he woke up in the morning on Saturday, he had one less tooth.

It was the cutest thing. He came out of his room that morning then came and woke me up. At first I didn't notice anything, then he said something and I noticed it was gone. It was kind of surprising, because we didn't know it was loose. I woke momma up real quick (she was really only snoozing) and we were just amazed. That's when we found the second loose tooth right next to the gaping hole from his missing tooth.

Losing a tooth as a child is a big deal, it always was for me, and I think it's the same for most people. The tooth comes out and we keep it so we can put it under our pillow at night. Then during the night one of our parents will come in and switch the tooth with a dollar while we sleep and claim it was the tooth fairy. It's a sweet childhood memory we can all look back on with nostalgia, but this is all different with an auspie.

First, he never let us know it was loose. I didn't know, and momma didn't ether. I'm sure he knew it was loose, but I don't think it came across his mind to say something, and with his vocabulary now I think he could have said something if he wanted to. I guess he just didn't think it would fall out, or that it was important. Second, we may always have to find out about things after it happens. Things like this may be something he doesn't tell us because "he doesn't know any better", and I hate using that phrase because it seems so demeaning, but he really doesn't.

He tells us other things about his body, when he's hungry and thirsty, he's put himself to bed many times without us knowing, and sometimes before his bedtime, he can tell us when he's cold or hot, but these are all kind of basic things or everyday type things. Other things, important things, he will only tell us if we ask him, like if he feels sick. Most kids will say "momma, I don't feel good" but he doesn't, he will just keep on going, and we really have to keep an eye on him. He can't say if his ear hurts if he has an ear infection, or if he feels hot or cold if he has a fever, or if he's about to puke because his tummy is upset, all of these things we have to watch for. It's not the same as having a "regular" kid, like there really are any "regular" kids.

This also kind of worries me as he gets older, because he will go through puberty, that is a fact (thank god he's not a girl) and I may not have the ability to explain to him what's going on with his body or he may not be able to comprehend what I'm trying to explain. He's going to grow facial hair, and he's seen me shave, and has a toy shaving kit now, but a play razor is different than a real razor, and he may not develop the fine motor control needed to shave and not hurt himself. The only thing I know for sure is I can try to do my best when the time comes.

Oh yeah, and about the tooth, we didn't find it; I'm sure he swallowed it in his sleep and didn't know it. The other tooth, it fell out also and we didn't find that one ether, but he still got a dollar for each, and he really didn't care about "the tooth fairy" story we told him. Matter of fact, he didn't seem to care about the dollars ether, I had to take him back in his room and show him the dollar, and he just said "yay" and ran away to play, I ended up putting the dollar in his piggy bank for him.

Fathers day.

It's father’s day, and he doesn't know.

The big guy knows about birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and other holidays, but I don't think he has a concept of time like we do. I know he loves his birthday, just like any kid his age, but I don't think he understands it's exactly a year after the last one. When the little guy has his birthday we have to explain to him that the presents are not his, he just wants to open them.

I understand he does not get yearly celebrations like that. Don't get me wrong, he knows his birthday is coming up, we tell him, but in February I don't think he's looking forward to August when he can open his presents. I also know he knows when Easter or Christmas is on its way, but little things like father’s day, I think are just another day for him.

What makes it an awesome day for me, when I walk through the door and he runs at me, arms open, screaming "Dahdee" and gives me a big hug. I love him so much, and to see him spontaneously act like that is the best gift any father can have, period. 

He can make macaroni pictures, hand print clay things, or draw bunches of different colored circles on a paper for me, and those are really cool treasures, but the best is the early morning hug, like I've been gone for a year. 

I never want him gone from my life. I always want to see his happy. I don't want to hurt him, though I sometimes have to make him mad for his own good. I love the life in his eyes, and the way sitting on the couch watching SpongeBob is the best time ever. This also goes for the little guy.

They are my stars, and I don't want them to burn out. It wouldn't be much of a father’s day without them. 

Who's your star on this father’s day?

Video games are fun.

He plays video games on his iPad, mom and my computer, and on the Wii, and sometimes he can't do what he wants. When that happens, he asks me, which makes me feel awesome. The main problem is he cannot manipulate things the way he wants, and it’s not on every video game, just a few. He sometimes gets mad when I do help him, because he does not know that the things I'm doing in the game will achieve the desired result. I try to explain to him I'm doing what he wants, but this is the worst barrier, because it's hard for him to understand I'm trying to do what he is asking of me.

Earlier today (Sunday) he was playing on my computer some nick jr games, when he found another game on my computer, and he started watching the movies for the game. He was totally enthralled with them, so I asked him if he wanted to play the game and he said "yesh". It was fun for him, he's seen me play the game before, and has always loved watching me play, so I let him go at it.

This game is an MMORPG, and so he can play with other people online at the same time, and my mom plays this game, so she got to play with him. He had a blast, the toon (that's what we call an in game character) he was playing has a motorcycle he likes to ride, so he was riding that around, and the same toon also has a helicopter, so he was flying that around. Then he got off the helicopter when he was flying really high, and fell to his death. So he comes and gets me so I can help him get back to the toon's body so he can revive and play more because he can't find it, but I can't find it ether because he landed on the side of a mountain and we couldn't get there as a ghost. To make a long story short I had to get someone to find the toon's corpse and resurrect him so he could keep playing.

After he was able to play again my mom had gotten on the game and they got to play together. He followed her around, and I told him it was grandma, and they had fun, she sat around and watched him playing with stuff, killing low level things, and interacting with the environment, it was cool. Then I guess he was getting frustrated with the game, so he grabbed me, pulled me to the computer, waved his hand at the computer, and said "bye". So I asked him if he was done playing, and he says "yesh", so I turned off the game. Then it was back to the nick jr games. He's just so capable in so many ways he amazes me, and I love to help him when he knows he can't do something.

I once heard a story a long time ago about a person's greatest strength, I know I'll butcher this story, but I will still try to get the idea across.

A father and son are driving down a country road, and they come across a small tree fallen across the road. The father and son get out and the son boasts proudly "it's not very big, I can move it myself". So the father lets the son try to move it, and the son can pick up on end, but can do little more than that. So the son puts the tree back down, and walks back over to his father dejected due to his failure. The father, still proud of his son's attempt, turns to the son and says "you did your best, but you forgot one tool you had available to you" and the son, a bit confused asked his father what tool that was. His father replies "me". His father goes on to explain "you may have had many tools available to you to move the tree yourself, but one of your most powerful tools is the ability to know when you need help, and ask for it, I was hoping you would ask for my help in moving the tree". So the son and father worked together and moved the small tree off the road, and continued on their way home. 

One of the reasons I love this story is because it reminds me of my son and I, he may be able to do some things, but he will need me for others. I love when he knows he needs me for some things, and he tells me. I don't find it a sign of weakness, I find it a strength to know when you need others and you cannot do something on your own. 

There are times he wants me to play the game for him, and I have no problem with that because I know one day he won’t need me to do that. I also love hen he asks me for anything really, it's a connection with him, a way for me to know he thinks about me. The reason why really doesn't matter to me because he may just need me because I'm tall, it's just the simple fact that I come to mind that I love. I know he won’t need me like that forever, and eventually he may just need me to be there, or he may need me to go away, but it feels so awesome right now and I love it. 

Do you feel the same when your child asks for something?

Bed time.

Everyone has a bad day every now and then. Some of us have bad days more than others, while some of us have good days more than others. I wonder some times how the big guy views his day, if he thinks they are good or bad, or just so so.

Sometimes the big guy thinks I'm mean when I say things like "it's time guys" which means it's bed time. At the same time, the little guy has also said I'm being mean when I say that. The big guy told me tonight (
Sunday the 10th ) "you mea daddy" when I said it was time.

Everyone has a bad day every now and then. Some of us have bad days more than others, while some of us have good days more than others. I wonder sometimes how the big guy views his day, if he thinks they are good or bad, or just so so.

Sometimes the big guy thinks I'm mean when I say things like "it's time guys" which means its bed time. At the same time, the little guy has also said I'm being mean when I say that. The big guy told me tonight (Sunday the 10th) "you mea daddy" when I said it was time.

I really do think in his mind I am being mean on purpose, like I'm honestly trying to ruin his fun time. I don't want to be a mean daddy, but bed time is bed time. I don't want to be a bad daddy, but when it's time to do something I try to make it as easy as I can on him, but sometimes he gets really mad at me for it. Sometimes he goes to bed easy, other times he has a big problem with it and does not want to go to bed. 

School let out a while ago for summer, so mom and I were trying a new thing where we would just let him go till he fell out and crashed. Our idea (her idea really) was he would sleep later in the morning because he went to bed so late at night. During the school year we have tried to have him in bed by 8pm or 9 pm, that way he would have enough sleep to get up and go to school. So 7am would come along and mom would end up dressing him while he was sleeping because he didn't want to wake up, then on the weekends he would be up at 6am or 6:30. It was like he knew he didn't have to go to school, so he wanted to get to playing as soon as possible to get in as much as he could for the day. 

So a few nights last week he stayed up till 11:30 one night, 12:00 another night, and about 10 or so another night, but that did not translate to later mornings, as most mornings he was still up at 6 am, and one morning sooner. So it has been confirmed, he knows he does not have school, so he's getting up early because of it. I'm telling you, I have a six year old teenager. 

So now after the experiment he has gone back to having a "normal" bedtime, roughly 8 or 9 pm. At least this way he will have more than just 6 or 7 hours of sleep. We will just have to deal with him getting up early. It's not so bad, I used to do it when I was his age, I just hope he doesn't feed the fish like I did when I was around his age, I don't think the fish would like to eat mayo, ketchup, mustard, salt and pepper and a whole host of other condiments. 

I know it's just a kid thing; the little guy gets up early also, sometimes really early. So I guess it's OK, we will just have to have early mornings while he's out of school. I wonder if I tell him he has school in the morning if he would sleep in......hmmm... I wonder.

So, is your kid an early riser?

The restaurant effects everyone.

We went out to dinner, and it didn't go so well. The big guy was OK, but he had a few issues.

So mom got a few free coupons to chili's, and we went. The little guy was really good, and he was even flirting with a waitress, which was hilarious, and the big guy had the iPad. That is where the problems started.

As I've said in my earlier posts, he has a new iPad. We got him the WiFi only model as it was cheaper, and we would't have to have a data plan for it, just buy it outright. A while back I unlocked YouTube on his iPad, and yeah I know that may be a little dangerous because he may watch something we don't want him to watch, but that has not happened yet.

What has happened is he started watching videos about Super Mario 64 on it, which I find awesome. He is totally enthralled with the videos because they are game play videos, so it's as if he is playing the game, but not having to do anything. I thought it was cute at first, but now I really do not like it.

Anyone with an autistic child will know how they can focus on something to the point of killing it. He has killed this. Now if you don't know about YouTube you've probably been in prison since 2004, but if you watch a video it buffers before you can watch it, but once it has finished buffering and you don't look for a new video you can actually pull the slider back and watch the video again as many times as you want.

Herein lies the problem.

So we got to chili's and everything was fine, the video he had watched at the house was still on the device because it is a 20 minute video. Once we were there he decided to watch a different video, which did not happen. That is when he started having a problem. He loved the southwestern egg rolls, but did not want any of his real dinner (that's OK cuz it was free). Once he found out he couldn't find any more videos the big guy started having problems, getting mat at mom and I, trying to bite mom, screaming, and just generally being mad.

This wasn't a meltdown, just being mad that he can't watch any more videos. The bigger problem is both mom and I have an iPhone, and YouTube on our phone, but he did not want to deal with that at all. I think he didn't want to deal with it for two reasons. The first reason I think he had a problem with watching the videos on mom's phone is the size of the phone, it is a bit small. The second reason is YouTube has a different format on the iPhone as opposed to the iPad and because he's so visually oriented, it bothers him to see YouTube is a different way.

Ether way, we left in a bit of a hurry, he did eat, though probably not as much as I would have liked. He did not have a full on meltdown, though he was crabby. The one thing that was really cute, he was so tired when we were sitting in the booth, and I think that has some to do with the way he was acting.

I'm going to lock YouTube out on the iPad again and I know this will make him mad, but I don't like to see him so passive with the iPad. The apps he has designed for autism are engaging, and the games he plays he is also engaged with. It's just when he's watching things on it I don't like, I feel like he's zoning out and not participating, just letting things happen.

 I don't want to look like the bad guy or anything, but I do want him to interact with things, not just sit and let them happen passively. I just feel like he's not learning like that.You think limiting his passive video watching is mean?

Should you teach your autistic child to swim?

As far back as I can remember my family has always gone swimming. It was ether at a lake, a community pool, my grandmother’s apartment complex, the beach in California, almost anywhere. My siblings and I always had a blast, and we never tired of it.

During the summer it was our thing to do, what I didn't realize is it never cost anything. Yeah it would cost the money it took to pay for gas to drive there, or maybe the money for sandwiches while we were there (most of the time we had a huge bowl or grapes and cherry's to eat by the pool), but honestly, that's not very much.

So swimming is a cheap form or entertainment. It's also a great form of exercise. What's better than kids getting outside and expelling load of energy, especially with all the digital distractions we have today.

OK, so now we have a cheap, good source of exercise, and it gets me off the couch also, so that can't be bad. Then we have the "life skill" aspect. I don't know anyone who does not know how to swim, or at the very least, no one has ever told me they don't know how to swim. I want my son to know how to swim, even if it's only doggy paddle. I think this is something he will need to know.

So last year my wife got one of the small pop-up pools. The pool isn't very big, about four feet high, and 12 feet around, and we sent it up. He loves it, and everyone else likes to have fun in it. We set it up again this year, and we have used it a few times, but he hasn't learned to swim yet, and I don't expect him to for a while.

The little guy hasn't learned to swim ether, but that's OK, I didn't learn to actually swim until I was about 6 myself. The little guy is our water baby; the big guy on the other hand will always do what he wants. There have been times we've had to get out because the big guy has decided he was done swimming after only a half hour. The thing that worries me about the big guy is he has gone under before, and I don't want that to scare him out of anything to do with water.

When he goes under, and it has only been for a second, he does not want to have anything to do with the pool anymore. I know it's scary for a regular child, but for an autistic it must be horrifying. It takes so long to get him to want to go back in the pool after going under, even days later, so I just let him work it through, and he usually comes around and wants to have fun more than he fears going under water again.

So I will go slowly at teaching him how to swim and the little guy as well. Though I do want him to know, I'll let him learn in his own time. Once he does learn, I think we will go up to a larger size pool, till then, we will stay with the 4 footer.

Would you teach your autistic child to swim? How would you go about it?

WHHH-aa-TTT, as in What?

So for a little while now I have been going over "words" with the big guy. It’s fun, I love it, and when we do this I feel as if we are the only two people in the world.

We will go over his "words" when he goes to bed, and tonight is the first night I've had the chance to do it in a week. I usually get the little guy in bed first, give him hugs and kisses, then off to the big guy. I get him all ready for bed, turn off his "TT" (his name for the TV) and lay him in bed, cover him up, give him his bumpy (his bumpy is his actual bumper from his crib, he's had the thing since he was born) and then I ask him if he wants to  do his words. No matter how much of a fuss he is putting up about going to bed, he always says yes. 

The first word we do every time is the word "what". The first time he says this word it comes out as "waa". I have to put a lot of emphasis on the "wh" the "a" and the "t", and then he will say it back to my the same way. We do all the "W" words first; what, where, when, why, but I don't put in who or how, they have different beginning sounds, and I don't want to confuse him.

These are not the only words we practice, we also do "ear" "fun" "phone" and a number of other words that have the same beginning sounds. His speech lady gave us a number of different pages that have words on them, so we also do words like "firefighter" and this word he says in the cutest way. It's like he whispers it, like it's so awesome he can only whisper the word. 

This is not the only word he says in a strange way, he says fire the same way by whispering it. He says the word fish really quick, but also with a swishing type of sound. He says the word ear almost like hear. This makes me wonder about how he thinks about words. I have read a little off Temple Grandin's book "Thinking in Pictures", (That link is really cool because it’s all the first chapter plus added material, go and check it out). I think the way he is thinking about the words is almost like the word will carry the action within the pronunciation, or the word will carry the feeling along with the pronunciation, which is really cool.

So the word "fire" carries with it the awe it inspires, the fear it conveys, and dancing magic it inspires. The word "firefighter" carries much of the same feelings, but also carries with it heroism, duty, honor, and strength. If this is true, it’s totally awesome. When we talk to each other, I mean us "normal" people; our words don't carry so much with them.

I will explain to you that a house caught on fire, the house was burning down, and firemen came and put the fire out. You will most likely think of this is a detached way, "just the facts ma'am". If I tell the big guy the same thing it is totally different. When the big guy hears the same story, it's more like this "Awesome, damaging, fearful fire was destroying a home. Then bravery, honor, strength and duty appeared upon the scene to do battle with the flames. After a heated battle, with very heroic moments, honor prevailed and beat back the fearful destructive flames". 

That sounds so much more fun than the "just the facts ma'am" explanation.

Dr. Big Guy and MR. Hyde

So you all know the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, basically two personalities in one person. One personality is of the respectable upstanding Dr. Jekyll, and the other personality is of Mr. Hyde, who does despicable things.

I named this post similarly because of the totally different personalities the big guy has for different situations. His teacher and teachers' aid have read my blog and have laughed about how I have described him differently when he is at home; you see.... he is Dr. Jekyll when he is at school, but Mr. Hyde at home. I bet many of you are laughing or at least smiling right now, but it's true. He is totally different in almost every situation.

When we had him diagnosed in June of 2010 my wife and I had been separated for seven months. I would get the boys every other weekend, and things were different when I had them, so different in fact that when we went to the big guys’ assessment the doctors gave me a separate assessment sheet to fill out. One of the things my wife said he did when he was with her was bang his head on things when he didn't get what he wanted, he tried it once with me, and I told him no, sent him to his room, and then went and talked to him after about 5 minutes, which is lifetime to a child, and he never tried doing that again with me.

Another way he was different at my house is he would sit at the table and try to eat his dinner, lunch, or breakfast with utensils, even though he had a hard time. He would always have the same bedtime while at my house, 8 o'clock, and he would be asleep in ten minutes.

This is totally opposite from being at moms. At mom's house, he would hit his head on the floor or wall when he didn't get what he wanted, dinner time was usually a finger food affair, if he ate, and bet time was a long drawn out ordeal that would last from 8 pm to sometimes 10 pm or later most nights.

This is not the only times he acts differently. He acts differently at a restaurant than at home, and differently at different restaurants. He acts differently at Nana's house than at home with mom, different at school and home, different with each of the therapy people he sees during a given week (though he really loves his speech lady).

So this brings me to the meat of my post, how he is at home. 

I feel so badly for the little guy because he takes the brunt of the Mr. Hyde attacks, and I think I know why. For the longest time, everything was his, his TV, his toys, his mommy, his daddy, his everything. Then mom went away for a week (the little guy was premature and spent a week in the N.I.C.U.) and came back and had something else that would scream for her attention. 

Mr. Hyde is so viscous with the little guy. Just last night he slammed him into the bed room door, smacked him in the face, scratched him on his back, and hit him on his back. All because he wanted to watch what he wanted on mom's computer. The only real way we have to control this is to keep them separate. Most of the time the big guy is in his room watching TV and eating his dinner. The little guy is usually in the living room watching TV there. We do other things, like go out in the back yard and play, or swim, go to the park, what have you, and in all these places the big guy acts differently. 

What we were told during his assessment in Dallas is that it is not at all uncommon for a child with autism to act completely differently in any setting, to the point that parents wonder if the child has split personality or something. We know he doesn't have split personality, we know he's the same big guy no matter who is around, where we are or what we are doing. 

This makes me think he's more real about things than us "normal" people are. When we go to work we act one way, we are different with different friends or family members, and when we are out in public we act self-consciously. Most of the time though, we don't show people that we don't like them, we act in a civil manner, and mumble as we walk away, so we really aren’t very truthful with others.

So we may be "normal" but he is truthful. We pretend most of our lives, while he will tell you exactly how it he feels about something. While this isn't particularly good in some cases, you'll never think he's lying to you, if he likes you, he will let you know, and if he doesn't..... Well, be ready for his Magneto claw.