More able, not disabled.

You know, my son cannot lie.

I cannot think of any time where I have found the he has lied. I don't think this is a concept that he understands. He will tell you exactly how he feels, if he's mad, or sad, and even when he's sick, though sometimes I don't think he knows every time he is sick. He won’t hide the fact that he got something from the fridge and he will do when he gets hungry. He will get me or mom when it’s something he can't reach, like on a high shelf, or when it's something he can't open, like Vienna sausages.

The big guy won’t take a toy from the little guy and say he was playing with it first; he just doesn't want the little guy to play with it. If he does not like you, you will know this. He will not sugar coat anything. If he is mad at you, and he has gotten very mad at me before, you will know this. If he does not like what is on TV, he will change the DVD, though he may ask you to get him the one he wants, he usually just does it himself.

The big guy won’t even pretend to like you, and this kind of brings me to a point, how do you act in your daily life?

I know people I do not like, but I must deal with them on an almost daily basis, but I must be civil and that basically means I have to lie to these people to their faces. On occasion I am asked by others if I'm OK, and my response is usually just the word fine, though I may be sick, depressed about something, mad, or any number of feelings. At times I have said things to a person, and it may have not been the whole truth, or a flat out lie. We all know we act like this, and many times we justify these actions.

We tell ourselves we are being civil when we "pretend" when dealing with people we don't like. We will flat out lie to others when things bother us, like our health or feelings, because we don't want to "bother" anyone with our troubles.

It just makes me think, my son is the least disabled person I know. In fact, he's more able, in fact I think of him as more able. He's more able to tell people the truth than anyone else I know. He is more able to connect with his real feelings about people and situations than others. He's more able to know when his body is craving food, and thus take care of that than many of us. He is more able to laugh out of total enjoyment than any of us.

Just think about the next time you are asked a question and the question requires an honest response. Are we disabled by our justifications?