Autistic Emotions

Almost everything I have heard about autism is that people who have autism are not very affectionate. If that is true, my son is the exception that proves the rule. The big guy loves us very much, and you can tell. The other night (about a week or more ago, as of this post) I went to get something sweet from the store, I had a sweet tooth. He saw me leave, and sat at the front door until I returned. When I walked in the door, he gave me a big fat hug.

Now from the things I have read, hugging to an autistic is like you or I hugging a cactus because of the sensory problems associated with autism. All I can say is, he has always been like that, very loving. He gives kisses and hugs, he signs "I love you" he will come up to you a pat you on the leg or hand because he thinks you’re mad or sad, it's all really cute.

Then there is the other half of it, sometimes he can be downright mean. A few nights ago mom and I were in the kitchen cooking and we heard the little guy start crying. So we went out to the living room and saw the little guy on the couch, and the big guy standing in front of him. The little guy was crying and had big red spots on his cheeks, and the big guy spotted us and looked like he was saying "what? I don't know what's wrong with him". So I grabbed the big guy, who started crying, screaming, kicking and biting me, and went off to his room with him. Mom stayed with the little guy. While I was trying to calm the big guy, mom was able to get out of the little guy that the big guy was smacking him repeatedly on the cheeks, like he saw in a movie. I tried to explain to the big guy that when he does things like that it hurts, and he can't do things like that. The problem is, like I said in my previous post, this is an abstract thought that is really hard to explain to the big guy.

The big guy doesn't understand that an action he does will hurt the person he is doing it to. He just sees that action, and does not understand the consequences. I know he gets that stuff from movies he watches, and yes you can say, well "don't let him watch stuff like that" but if you take the time and really look at children's movies, even snow white has violence in it.

The best we can do is try to mitigate the damages, explain things the best we can, and also explain to the little guy that the big guy does not know he is hurting him. It just breaks my heart that the little guy looks at the big guy like a horror movie monster sometimes. I just hope as they get older it will get easier, and I'm sure it will.

The big guy has also done some very funny inappropriate actions because of a movie. At some point, and I'm not sure when, he saw a female lead in a film kiss the male lead and not just a peck on the lips. It had to have been one of the big kisses, you know where it looks like each person is trying to eat each other’s face. Well, we decided to give me a kiss like that, and when he was first coming at me I just expected a big guy kiss, but then he stated moving his head back and forth, and holding my cheeks, like I was the love of his life. It was honestly very funny. Then he went and kissed his mom like that, and yeah we were laughing. But there again we have a problem, it's hard to explain to him that this type of kissing is something adults in a relationship do, not how he would kiss his mom.

I'm sure he will eventually learn what he does hurts others, or what kind of kiss is appropriate. As of now though, we will have to deal with things as they happen. I guess that's all we can do.